How to be Assertive
- January 21, 2016
- Posted by: admin
- Category: Knowledge Bytes
- What is being assertive?
Before we think of the ways to be assertive, it’s important to qualify the term assertive and for that we need to understand two other terms aggressive and submissive/passive. A simple table to illustrate the mindset of these three different personalities is shown below:
|Others are more important||I am important and so are others||I am the most important person|
|Avoids speaking for himself||Expresses his view point in a cheerful and confident tone||Expresses his/her opinion in a loud tone not caring for others|
|Avoids groups||Participates in groups||Tries to control groups|
|Believes in sacrifice||Equality and collaboration||Believes in exploitation|
|Avoids eye contact||Maintains proper eye contact||Stares/Intimidates|
- Why is it important to be assertive?
Because it is important to be clear, direct and honest. Being Assertive comes from self confidence and it’s one of the most important hallmarks of an effective leader. Assertive people are people who reach their goals keeping the relationships intact and ensure long term success.
- How to be assertive?
One can train oneself and transition from passive or aggressive to assertive. Being assertive doesn’t mean trampling one’s feet; it simply means standing on your own feet. Valuing yourself equal to others, your opinion equal to others opinion. Not keeping shut but voicing your opinion when needed. This was about mindset.
Also be aware of your blind spots, beware of your eye contact, body posture and tone. Try to keep a conversational style, relax and speak openly.
If you are holding yourself back in certain situations, ensure you speak out in a similar situation next time. Also try to attend social gatherings so that you are more comfortable speaking up. It’s also important to seek feedback from your trusted colleagues as there could be a difference in your opinion and others opinion on your level of assertiveness.